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Self Esteem ..
the Basis of
Self Respect

Self esteem is the fundamental value that one perceives in himself - his capabilities, desires, and assessment of himself. It governs his behaviour in daily life. It is the driving force that causes him either to develop a sense of integrity and honesty which are the basis of high self esteem; or to lapse into depression, degradation, loneliness and fear - the building blocks of low self esteem.

A person without a high self-esteem cannot have confidence in himself because self esteem and self confidence go hand in hand together; so a person who has a high self esteem will have great self confidence and truly believe that he is able to do anything that is humanly possible to achieve his goals.

Influence can play a vital role - negative or positive.
I do believe that every person is born with a certain degree of self esteem and it is important for us to understand that, like everything else, it has a positive as well as a negative side.

It is nurtured by a person's environment, parents, friends and acquaintances. Influence in childhood is largely reponsible for developing a child's ego which can result into either high or low self esteem.

I am of the opinion that self esteem is closely linked to the mind which in turn works in conjunction with the will and affects our ability to make right decisions. If someone is brain washed into thinking little of himself, he loses his will to determine what he really wants for himself and, consequently, falls prey to low self esteem.

Conversely, if he is trained to think positively about himself, he would develop a high self esteem and thus a good self image.

If suggestions of a low self esteem are instilled in your mind, you tend to believe that you are worthless. You feel uncomfortable in the company of persons, who, in your opinion, are of a higher calibre than you. Ironically, those same persons may think that you are nothing but a snob and that you feel yourself better than they, not realising that it is you who feel yourself inferior. You must get out of that mindset and start to build your self esteem now.

A high self esteem can help to increase your income.
Because of circumstances you may be locked in low-paying job positions for many years and just seem to accept that without any recourse; but when a high self esteem is developed, you get that feeling deep within that you are worth much more and you get an urge to try something new to increase your income.

Now because self esteem is so closely linked to self confidence you start to feel within yourself that you have the ability to succeed in whatever else you decide to do; consequently, you become motivated to improve your present position or business.

It is imperative that you maintain a high esteem of yourself without being egotistic or conceited.
Building self esteem makes you feel sure of yourself and gives you that self confidence to take challenges; but one must be very careful not to go to extremes by being egotistic and conceited thereby over-rating himself to the point of becoming a bore and a nuisance in the company of others.

Having a conceited good feeling about oneself could be a false sense of high self esteem. Lacking respect for others, being awfully unkind, not being quite upright in dealings, feeling above reproof, not quite true to one's words, and feel good about all these things believing that one is always quite right. This is dangerous ground and could lead to wanting to control others and eventually becoming a bully.

Is that having a high self-esteem? No, that's arrogance! If a person really thinks highly of himself, by his attitude he would gain respect because he would always have respect for others, be unselfish, compassionate, and honest; and if ever he realizes that he does not exhibit these qualities, he would be tormented by that innerman called 'conscience' and cannot be at peace with himself.



So, the way you feel about yourself, what you believe is good for you, how much you sincerely think you are worth, how important you really think you are (without berating others), whether you feel that you are able to cope honestly with difficult situations - all these determine whether you have a high or a low esteem of yourself.

Endeavor to do what is right and just Having a high self esteem, you feel proud of yourself and have a commitment to yourself to do what is right and just. You have the inspiration to be your best at all times as much as possible and always endeavor to keep good company; that is, persons whose good character you can emulate; you have the conviction that you deserve to be happy. All these factors contribute to a high self esteem.

You are unique - Yes one of a kind Remember that you are a unique person, wonderfully made by God and He has given to you certain attributes that only you possess. There has never been, is not, and never will be another human being exactly like you no matter how closely they may resemble you.

You are a product of the greatest, the best, and most recognized brand of all creation. Anything that carries a recognized brand name is deemed to be in excellence because the name has integrity and so the product is regarded with high esteem.

Yes, you were made by the greatest and highest name, a name that is above every name in heaven or on earth. You were uniquely and skillfully made by God Almighty - the greatest craftsman that ever was, that is, and that ever will be. So feel proud of yourself that no one else in the whole wide world can be you. Enjoy being who you are regardless of color, creed, status, class or race.

No matter what is done, no human being can produce another person with your identical self. God, the creator, did not see it fit to make two humans exactly alike to the nth degree - He did not! Why? Because each and every human being that ever lived upon this earth has to give an account of his life to God, and he cannot shelter himself under the existence of someone else.

It is, therefore, my opinion that everyone is born with all the latent attributes of life, but the influence of environment, parents, and other encounters in life, either help you to recognize your attributes and build upon them, or disregard and subdue them. While positive suggestions help you to develop your latent good self-esteem, negative advice and suggestion cause you to bury your good self esteem and develop a negative feeling about yourself.

Stop Negative Thinking!
You should not entertain any negative thoughts about yourself when imagination is running wild in your head. Remember that you are in control. Tell yourself that those thoughts are not for your benefit, nor are they what God had intended for you.

Negative thoughts can only make you miserable. Think of something positive and refuse to give heed to negative thoughts and they will soon subside. Do not ever believe that you are worth nothing. If you do not have a high esteem of yourself, why should anyone else have a high esteem of you? Low self-esteem causes one to develop an inferiority complex, and it becomes a stumbling block to your success in life. Low self esteem makes you feel shy and insecure with little or no confidence in yourself. You must overcome shyness now if you really want to overcome low self esteem.

Self esteem is a feeling, an emotion that we cannot share with anyone else.
No one can feel your self esteem, much the same as they cannot think your thoughts, or experience your taste. They may be able to interfere with your thought process and the development of your self esteem. It is something innate in us and if we do not recognize the awesome ability of developing a high self esteem, we are opening the door to the development of low self esteem.

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Copyright © 2004 Jem Bacchus. All Rights Reserved.